Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Masterpiece Theater Complete Jane Austen

Tuesday Playlist

I forgot about my playlist promise until I was over at Chanda's blog. So here goes...

Part 2 of Wanna Be 80's

My Favorite Game -- The Cartigans
All These Things I've Done -- The Killers
Feel Good Inc. -- the Gorillaz
Life's What You Make It (the fluke remix) -- Talk Talk
Stacy's Mom -- Fountains of Wayne
Black Tambourine -- Beck
Middle of Nowhere -- Hot Hot Heat
Seady as She Goes -- The Raconteurs
Mad World -- Gary Jules

This is a slower workout but still some great songs. :)

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Workout playlist

So this post is in response to Chanda's request for workout playlist. This is one of my eliptical playlists, so lots of beat. My title is Wanna Be 80's, because to me every song on this list could have been playing in the 80's... Have fun.

The Adventure -- Angels & Airwaves
Such Great Heights -- Postal Service
An Honest Mistake -- The Bravery
Starlight -- Muse
Precious -- Depeche Mode
Souvenier (Moby Remix) -- OMD
Neighbors (Razormaid Remix) -- Camouflage
My December (Reincarnation Remix) Linkin Park

This is enough for a 30 min work out w/3 min cool down.
Part 2 next time :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


I have been missing in action and I mean that quite literally. I have missed writing here but have been very busy this month. I should have been documenting the fact that CW took me to see Blue October the first weekend of this month. That I lost a tooth the second weekend, you should have seen me (but trust me I won't subject any of you to that) it really completed my bag lady Halloween costume (a little late). I worked diligently to help with our Enrichment meeting the next week. The night after enrichment we headed to a pre-school program for Lily. And the next day we had a very, very good book club metting. Then CW had the week off and after a few projects at home we made our way down to Houston for Thankgiving.

Huff, Huff, Puff, Puff. I am running outta steam. It doesn't look like it is going to be any less busy this next month with Christmas and all. Luckily we are staying home and that does take a little stress off. I will try to keep you all updated. :)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


These quizzes are fun. I always try them but never post. This one was interesting so I thought I would share....
you are cadetblue

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the html color quiz

Thanks Laurie :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

...the heart that has truly loved never forgets...

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Daddy and Jenni 1975

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Daddy and Jenni 1977

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Mother (2 months before her death), Bate, Daddy, John, Janna and Jenni 1979

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Daddy and Jenni 1987

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Daddy and Jenni 1993 (5 months before his death)

14 years gone and still in my heart.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

meme via katri

1. Three biggest fears? (besides anything bad happening to a family member/child)
a. Car Accident --I haven't been in one in more that 10 years but I am paranoid.
b. People coming over when my house is a wreck
c. Raising someone else's kids (not the kids just the situation)
2. When was the last time you danced? more than just around the house...BIL wedding
3. Do you creep on stranger's blogs? Yeah, sometimes just to avoid having to post on my own or to get ideas.
4. If you could go back to be any age for a day, what age would you be and why? 21, I loved the time when CW and I were dating/engaged.
5. Are you a good liar? Not really
6. Do you judge someone when you can tell they've had elective cosmetic surgery? yeah, because I think if you can tell it probobly wasn't such a great idea. Of course I am talking about a stranger not someone you would know.
7. If you have children, what's one thing that you always told yourself you'd never do when you had kids? If you don't have children, what's one thing you tell yourself you'll never do. (Psst! You. Yah, you. The one without kids. Guess what? You'll probably do it.) I told myself I would never spank or yell. I try really hard not to do either but sometimes it's hard (mostly yelling, I only spank when it's warranted usually when my kids are putting themselves in danger).
8. What's something that totally grosses you out? A clogged toilet nothing is quite so gross.
9. Do you ever delete forwards without reading them? yes pretty much always unless it's someone that wouldn't usually send something of that nature.
10. Do you ever lie to get out of obligations? I try extra hard not to.
11. Consider your body weight and your yearly income at their present states. Would you rather be 200 pounds heavier and $200,000 richer or stay at your present states? I will gladly stay right where I am. I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be heavy, it doesn't mean I won't try to improve, that being said 200 more pounds would be disastrous. Monetarily I don't feel like $200,000 would make that much of a difference right now, I have more than enough.
12. When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes and what were they? I bought a pair of black and white polkadot ballet shoes that I gave to my sister when I went to AZ.
13. The Olympics. Take them or leave them? I like the winter better than the summer, but don't usually pay to much attention to sports.
14. What's your favorite accent? English
15. What's your favorite scent? Fruity
16. Gum or breath mints? Gum
17. If you could look like any celebrity, who would it be? I think Evangaline Lilly is really hot so her maybe???
18. If you had the chance of looking like said celebrity in exchange for your thumbs would you do it? no way
19. Do you religiously wear sun screen? Nope.
20. Do you generally trust people/their motives or doubt people/their motives? Trust.
21. Would you describe yourself as a complicated person or is what you see what you get? What you see is what you get.
22. Do you watch what you eat? I am trying
23. Do you watch what other people eat? no
24. Do you judge how other people raise their kids? It depends on the kids, although I try to be understanding having an uncontrollable kid myself.
25. Do you judge people who dress poorly? no, esp when I dress pretty poorly myself
26. Do you judge people who are homely? no
27. Do you judge people who are overweight? I wouldn't call it judging as much as comparing
28. Your interest in politics: High, Medium-High, Medium, Medium-Low, Low, Obsolete? Medium, I think I know more than some people but less than others.
29. Favorite song of all time? Pride U2
30. Acoustic or electric? Acoustic
31. If you were a hermit, would you shave? no and I would be the hairiest woman alive, I wish I could just eliminate hair (except on my head)
32. If you could shave your head without your significant other throwing a complete hissy, would you? no
33. What was your least favorite age? 18-21 it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
34. How many times a day do you check your email? many
35. Are you in a tiff with anyone right now? nope, not that that isn't possible at any moment with on of my sisters...just not currently.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

State Fair of Texas

It's our tradition to do something really fun as a family for our kids birthdays rather than parties. Sooooo...for the 2nd year in a row Alex chose the state fair. Fun was had by all:)

Alex on the giant slide, his birthday ride

Lily is such a flirt, she embarrassed this cute boy by talking his ear off.

Alex and Lily on the giant Ferris Wheel with Dad.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

10 years ago today...

As I left the house I found a note on the door thanking me for everything I do for our family (at this point it was just us). CW was still in bed after a late night. I had a fairly early doctor's appointment. The clinic, located at St. Mark's in Salt Lake City, was full and it took about an hour for me to go in to see the doctor. She checked me and said I was dialated to 5 cm and that I should go straight up to labor and delivery. I was pretty freaked out but realized that CW would have no way to get to me as we only had one car and not much in the way of friends. The gave me half an hour to go and get him and just to make their point threatened to send an ambulance if I wasn't back. Being my first baby I didn't know better. We arrived back at the hospital at exactly noon. The doctor came and broke my water and gave me some demerol. She can back and forth checking on me and at 5pm was surprised when I hadn't delivered. I was ok for a couple of hours until I started vomiting. I got scared at that point because the pain was pretty bad so I ask for an epidural. It took a little while for the doctor to come but they got it in I felt much better and actually slept for a little bit after that. The hospital was pretty busy that evening with 7 other women delivering from the same clinic and only one doctor on call. We were lucky to have a nurse midwife with us the entire time. She commented that conference weekend was always very busy (it was the Friday of Conference weekend) I had a little bit of a problem pushing at first because I couldn't feel anything, I pushed for about an hour. Alexander Calderwood Speer was born at 8:41pm. He weighed 8lbs 1oz and was a whopping 23 inches long.

So wanted to put pictures in of Alex at 10min, 10days, 10 weeks, 10 months, 5 years, 10 years... but nothing works (darn Vista), can't get the scanner to work or the card reader... bah.

Not Alex, Elijah Bate born 10/03/07

And another thing, my baby sis had her baby today so that means the oldest and the youngest grandchildren are 10 years apart to the day. She named him Elijah Bate (my little bro is Bate btw, see previous pic he is the shorter one)

Friday, September 28, 2007

All in the Family

My sibs and I...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Today was a good day.

I have been struggling a bit to get back to real life since my unexpected trip to Arizona. My grandmother past away 2 weeks ago today. To be honest I have been sad but in a strange way. I have learned a lot of stuff that I didn't know these past few weeks. Things about my parents that I didn't expect and now don't know how to process.

Anyway as I say today was a good day. I felt like I have finally come back to my own skin. I went down the the school and had lunch with my Alex. He invited his friend to sit with us. His friends are pretty much always girls. I think that these young girls are drawn to him because they sense he needs taking care of. As we were eating three other girls came over and introduced themselves to us. It was cute.

After lunch we, meaning Lily, Ed and I, went to his special ed class to talk with his teacher about his birthday next week. Can I just say, she is beyond great. These past 2 years of elementary school I have worried so much about him. Getting information was like pulling teeth and I always felt like he was not improving and was really struggling socially. Well he's back. That great, funny, quirky, loving kid of mine is getting noticed for all of his positive attributes and those negative things that all those silly people at school seem to push to the forefront of every conversation we have, all those negative things are not important anymore. After meeting with her I went to my car and cried. I honestly felt like something was given back to me.

I realize part of this is my fault, that in someways I have given up and let go of good things I know are there, but sometimes a parent needs affirmation. Especially from the people who spend a big majority of the day with your child. When that was not there I started to loose faith in what I know my child is. Shame on me for doubting his wonderfulness.

But I am back.
I have on my brave face.
And feel better already....

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Looking back at September 11, 2001

Michelle's post made me think about where I was when the attack happened.

As I remember it, I took CW to the train that goes from Simi Valley to downtown LA, he worked in Glendale at the time, generally he took the 6:10am train. When we arrived at the train station the emergency lights were flashing, the train arrived as usual though and so he got on and went on his way.

I turned on the radio they were saying an accident had happened in NY and that we should go home and turn on our TV's. I went to my in laws as they were closer to the station, plus I had a bad feeling and didn't really want to be alone. My in laws are really late risers so no one was awake except those who had to go to work and they were gone. I turned on the TV downstairs in my MIL's studio and sat and watched as the 2nd plane hit the building.

My FIL came before the 1st of the towers fell, he told me he had gotten to work and they had told them to go home. CW called about that same time to let me know that he had arrived safely but that they had closed down the train because they were afraid that it might be attacked and that he didn't want me to be on the road until they were basically sure that nothing was going to happen in LA. About this time the South tower fell, we were watching it on tv and were totally shocked and crying. The day went on and of course you know the rest.

That evening as we prepared to go to gather with our family we came outside and the entire neighborhood was outside with candles sitting together talking about what happened. Now this probobly seems like a normal thing to anyone from TX but it was a huge thing given our community.

Well that's what I remember....

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Pictures from the Wedding, Yipee!

The Peck Family

The Bride and the Groom

Lily and her cousin A

Lily and the bride and the bride's dad

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Man can I say I am glad I got that out of my system. I was feeling overwhelmed and being overwhelmed can lead to paralysis for me. Mind you I still haven't blogged about the 1st day of school but I am still trying to see if I can get my pictures up, I won't however let it stop me from blogging now. We had a good weekend, mostly because we didn't go anywhere or do much of anything

I went out Saturday with just Lily and I. We had lunch at Pei Wei Diner and did some shopping

We went to church on Sunday without dad, I was not happy about this and he knew it so when we got home he took us out for a long drive, it helped unruffle my feathers.

On Monday Alex had an appointment with the eye dr. so we finally got his glasses, the flexible kind which hopefully will last the full year. Monday night we had some friends who have just moved from California over. My friend Amy is having a little bit of a rough transition so we though we would show some hospitality and have a bbq. Fun was had by all I think. Nice way to end the summer.

We are just kind of hanging out as I have been feeling a little off for the last several days, not ill just off. Anyhow, that's the story.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Procrastination of a Blog

I am here, I promise I will blog again. I actually have quite a bit to blog about but I am having issues with my pictures...trying to fix.

So I have put this off long enough and still have no pics. We went on a little jaunt to California a couple of weeks ago. Great time was had by all. I just need to get it down before I start forgetting what's what. I will edit and add pics as I get them.

Friday - Left DFW about 9:45 pm, Ed cried the first half hour and then settled. Lily and Alex both did well. The plane was fairly empty so we were able to spread out. in 3 different rows. We rented a car at LAX and got to CW's parents home about 1am LA time.

Saturday - Lots of family arriving throughout the day. Becky and I went to the mall. Got a great necklace for Sunday. We had a late lunch at Chili's with the women/girls there for the wedding.

Alex spent the day with his friend Joe Joe, he had so much fun. They have been friends since they were about 8 months old. They even lived with us for a time before Joe's mom started working and was able to find a place for them.

I was able to leave Ed with Elizabeth's parents a little before 8pm, he went right to bed. Picked up Alex and went to see Wizard of Oz, Shirley (MIL) and Becky's (SIL) most recent production, costuming was fab of course. I was a little worried Lily would be bored. She and Alex were mezmerized. They used a live chihuahua as Toto. Lily's favorite part was the poppies, she wanted a costume like that. Shirley gave her a copy of Wizard of Oz as a present.

Sunday - Got up and went to church. I was amazed at how quite the service was and a little mortified when Ed started screaching, there were only 2 other children of comparable age there. It seems that a lot of the young families there were once there have moved on. Of course we do not have to wonder why given the cost of living. This is our old ward so we were greeted warmly by many of the members. I as so happy to spend time and chat with CW's MIL Marion, who was injured in a terrible accident in South Africa last summer. Her leg is badly mangled but we worried she wouldn't keep it and that she would never walk again but she has kept it and she is walking. When I asked if she was coming to the wedding, she said she had nothing to wear and meant it. She has gained weight these month waiting to heal, nothing bad in my opionon but enough that her clothes don't fit. We managed to convince her we didn't care what she wore, we just wanted to spend time with her.

The Wedding

I had to get Lily to the wedding venue early so she could have pictures taken with the wedding party. She looked so cute in her flower girl dress, made by grandma of course. Her dress was light green silk shantung with a huge skirt and little puff sleeves, her cousin Alyssa had a matching dress but minus the sleeves. After leaving her in the care of grandma I ran back home and got everyone ready. I was glad I showered before church because there was not time to really do much before we had to be there. I changed my clothes and touched up make up but did not have time to do what I wanted with my hair, plus I forgot all about my new cute necklace. Bummer. We sat in the front row and waited for Lily to come down the isle. She got stage fright and did not want to throw "her" flowers on the ground so Alyssa sort of pulled her along telling her trying to get her to do what she was supposed to. As she got to the front she froze we were finally able to coax her to come and sit. The Bride's dress was very nice and looked like this but with sleeves, a little jacket thingy you wear under the dress.

The dress was cut in such a way that it actually hid that she was 6 months pregnant. My BIL matched in a cream suit, I was a little worried about this choice but he pulled it off fabulously.

After the ceremony we went inside and had dinner. My FIL's band played the first dance and the family was asked to join on the 2nd. This is the only time we were dance, at weddings, it feels awkward to slow dance with CW and well we won't comment on anything that required more than just a shuffle of feet. <> I loved to dance growing up, I don't know what happened. We had a great time, Alex and Alyssa danced up a storm and Lily and Connor has such fun together. They were really the only children there, save Ed and Chase and a daughter belonging to couple of the attendant's (Maid of Honor and Groomsman, who just happen to live here in TX close to us). CW and I table hopped and chatted with friends and family that we hadn't seen in a while. Alex apparently table hopped too, but only steal the camera's on each table. About 10, Ed had had enough and I drove as many as I could fit in our car home, I put Ed and Lily to bed and turned around to go back for Alex and my MIL. Of course when we got there my MIL was not ready to leave yet but didn't have a way to get home unless she stayed and waited for my FIL to dismantle and load his drums. So we hung and listened to the music and chatted with the hangers on. BIL got up and played to bongos and then they tossed the garder and bouquet. So MIL and I got Alex and left. I guess the photographer had gone home and download some of the photos and came back with a slide show for the people left at the reception. Kinda sorry we missed that.

Ok so that's it for the wedding, if you made it there far you are to be commended. If you want to hear what we did the rest of the time keep going.

Monday - We were invited to an after the wedding luncheon, were we ate all the left overs from the wedding and then watched as the happy couple opened their gifts. They got some great stuff. Including an antique rocking chair, a professional meat slicer (most coveted by CW) and a KitchenAid Mixer (most coveted by me). In the end we commissioned a quilt to be made by my SIL for them as a gift. Unique and speaks of family...what more could you ask for, well we just hope she likes it, you never know. That night we had a family dinner at Cheesecake Factory which turned into a debacle of inordinate proportions. My SIL was not happy with her order and stormed off and refused to eat!!! CW does not like Cheesecake Factory anyway and this just reinforced his already festering dislike.

Tuesday - I got up early and took Aunt Debbie and her daughter to the airport in Burbank (much closer than LAX) on the way home I stopped off at the cemetery to visit our daughter Rose's grave. It is such a pretty little place all green with lots of trees. In Arizona where my family has plots there is no grass or trees because there is no water. It's just dirt and sometimes rocks and a lot of times tumbleweeds. So it's nice that she is buried in such a beautiful place, plus CW owns a joint plot there with his first wife (really weird to see his name on a headstone already). I always tell him I am going to bury him there, he worries that his children won't know were to find him if we aren't together. I don't think it matters in then end we will find each other no matter where we end up (of course for me it may be someplace in the afore mentioned desert).

The Anniversary

Let me preface this by saying our 10th Anniversary was back in January, but we have put off doing something till we could leave the kids. OK,Tuesday cont... We left in the afternoon for Santa Barbara, we took the long way going through Somis and Santa Paula before hitting the ocean in Ventura we drove up the 101 to Santa Barbara were we got a room at the Cheshire Cat Inn (we stayed here for our 4th Anniversary).

Not a great pic I know...Anyway we got there kinda late in the afternoon so we had some cheese and cider and then chilled in our room (aptly named the Cheshire Cat Suite) then went out to find some dinner. We ended up at a great little Indian place called The Taj Cafe, it was so yummy. The owner came and chatted with us and asked were we were from and was interested in what Texas was like. We expressed how much we enjoyed our dinner there and how great we though the atmosphere was. Anyway after dinner we went for a walk on the pier.

WednesdayThe We went out and drove to the Santa Barbara Mission. As we were driving I looked over and saw a really beautiful mission style church. It turns out it is one of ours. You don't see many anymore that go away from the prescribed archetecture that the church uses now but this one was so nice and missiony from the outside. The mission itself was beautiful and set on a hill overlooking the ocean. We then went back down to State Street and went to the Santa Barbara Museum of Art. It was really nice smaller museum with some great works. This was the only place where someone visited with us when they weren't actually selling us (ie a hotel room, food, movie ticket) something. It was in front of a collage style piece of art that detailed the assasination for President Kennedy. This man was likely in his 60's told us about what he was doing that day that the President was shot. We mentioned that we lived in DFW so this subject held great interest for us. Anyway it was nice and made us realize how much we have come to love our home here in Texas because someone speaking to you without provocation is a rarity in California but it is so common for strangers to chat with you when you are out an about, there is much to be said for southern hospitality.

After the Museum of Art we headed up to San Luis Obispo. We decided to stay a night at the Madonna Inn. If you haven't heard of it, well I will just say its very interesting. Lots and lots or pink and very gaudy. Every room is different in this place. Once we got ours (see the sweepstakes) we peeked in the windows of rooms along the corridor, it was very educational. We went that evening and had dinner in town, which by the way is home to Cal Poly so all the college students were out, and saw Borne Ultimatum. The movie was great very action full.

Thursday -- Got up Thursday morning, I could tell that the week was catching up with me because I didn't make it out of bed until after 10am. We grabbed a quick bite at McD's, which did you know that there are no drive thrus in SLO, who knew? We headed south 101 and then realized I had sent us in the wrong direction we went back to SLO and headed north to the 1 through Morro Bay and on to San Simeon, where we headed up to Hearst Castle.

Not to be confused with Hurst Castle in England. It was over cast even at 12:30 we got on the bus to head up to the castle which is 5 miles up the hill from the visitors center. We took the beginners tour of course they make it sound really arduous when they say its 170-400 stairs long, it wasn't bad. The castle itself was beautiful with a lot of the pieces both interior and exterior being imported from Europe, the ceilings were magnificent and the pools (there were 2 huge ones) were well WOW. It was fun, by the time we were coming down the hill it was clearing. I chatted with the newlyweds on the way back to SLO and we decided to meet up for a late lunch at the Apple Farm. We got to sit and chat for a few minutes without a lot of hoopla and hubbub going on around them. Which was nice. The told us that Alex had taken pictures on virtually every camera at the reception and most of them were self portraits with him making funny faces, they said they were going to make a collage of him. I felt bad but not too bad. They also rented a room at the Madonna Inn only the first room they got the decided they didn't like as it had a HUGE cherub directly over the bed, my new SIL felt like it was watching her. When they called up to ask to change rooms the clerk assured them that this was not an uncommon occurance, a lot of people are freak the the cherub checkin' em out.

Coming Home

Thursday cont... we headed back to the kids after our nice little hiatus, we ended our evening over at Ben and Elizabeth's for a BBQ. Kids weren't that excited to see us (except maybe Ed) as Aunt Becky had really out done herself and taken them yon and hither swimming and playing all the live long day.

Friday -- Marion and Serena were anxious to see us before we left. Turns out a couple of Marion's sisters were there. CW is well acquainted with Cindy the youngest sister as he stayed with her quite a bit after Chris' death. We visited for a couple of hours and then came home to pack up our stuff. We wanted to leave fairly early for the airport as you never know what the traffic will be like on the 405, we left at 3:00 for our 7:35 flight. The flight itself was the bumpiest I have ever been on. Luckily Ed slept, Lily cried though only as we were coming down as the pressure was hard on her ears. We got home at 2 am but the upstairs was 95 degrees so we had the kids lay down in the family room while CW and I sat around watching TV waiting for it to cool off.

Well that's it...all blogged out, at least I can go on with my life now..

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dance Dance Baby

I finally signed Lily up for dance classes today. We had been to a couple of the other studios and I wasn't really impressed with their teachers. I thought maybe that she was still too young, although a lot of the kids are younger than her, she seemed to get bored really easily and look for other things to do. Well a new studio recently opened up really close to home and I decided we would go have a look. Well color me impressed she sat, she listened and she followed the teacher.

On the way home she talked about how much she liked the teacher and how fun the class was. So I went back and signed her up.

She can't normally attend on Wednesdays as she will be at Miss Becky's so Jennifer the teacher/owner suggested the 4-5 year old class (she was huge compared to the other girls in the 3-4 year old class anyway) with the 1/2 pre-jazz add on. So it is an hour of tap and ballet with an additional 1/2 hour of pre-jazz (this was optional). Can you tell I am as excited as she is :) She has been asking for a while, I have just been waiting till school started to get her in.

Edited to add: you can find them at their website


Ok, so I have this uber talented brother in law. Excellent artist (see below) these are 10 min sketches of he and his brothers.

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Me myself, not much with this kind of talent. Not that I don't have them, just that they are quite as observable.

What are your talents? Come on you know you want to share!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Great Debate

So as I have mentioned before my bro in law is getting married in a couple of weeks. We will be going to California to be at the wedding and then do take a short vacation for ourselves before school starts.
Here is the's a wedding, we need a gift. I generally pick out the gifts for these occasions, usually one of my siblings as the last wedding in his family was in 1998, just a year after we were married. I think our gift to them was just being there, that was hard enough at the time.

With my own siblings I tend to be generous, I am the oldest and I remember how hard it was starting out. We can afford to give a nice gift. Also I don't believe in giving money, my reasoning is that although it helps out in the short run, it not a gift that brings to mind the giver. With my own wedding gifts I remember who gave me what, mostly, but I couldn't tell you who gave us money (sadly).

That being said I looked at the registries and a lot of the stuff has already been bought. There are 2 big items left one of them, a Dyson vacuum cleaner, is something I won't consider. The other is a gas grill which we would have to have someone actually go to the store and buy for us as who wants to pay shipping for something like that.

My mom will be contributing a little money as he has always been especially generous and nice when she has come to stay with us (she usually comes at Christmas and my in laws always buy her gifts). He himself has always given us very nice gifts for holidays/birthdays etc...

So I brought this up to CW he thinks our presence is enough. He doesn't want to buy a gift. He feels like he didn't buy anything for his other brother back in 1998 so why buy something for this one. I feel like we were in a different situation back then and now that we are able to contribute a gift we should and it should be something good.

What have you done or would you do?

Great Ebay Find!

So this was my great ebay find this last week. I am very pleased with myself and Lily is so excited to have this cute new chair and toy box in her room :) Amazing what you can find these days.

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Tuesday, August 7, 2007


So yes, I am a book reading fiend. I can't help myself sometimes. I have read 5 books since Aug 1st and am working on my 6th and 7th.

The new Stephanie Meyers book Eclipse came out today, I went a picked it up. Unfortunately I couldn't stop thinking about it and started to read as we sat at stop lights on the way home, we got here about 4:30pm. I am 3/4 of the way done.

I did clean up today and make dinner (kinda, grilled cheese and soup) and put the kids to bed. It is almost 10pm. I think I can finish before I go to bed. Hehe.

Ah Bliss...(which oddly enough happens to be the name of a vampire I was reading about earlier)

Monday, August 6, 2007

My baby is now a toddler...sigh

Yep you heard it. Ed is walking, he has been trying for the past 3 weeks but as of Sunday it has become a full time thing for him. He loves that he can carry things and move at the same time. No more pushing things and crawling after them.

He is a beauty by the way with his big blue eyes and blonde hair. He is naturally very light skinned too. So unlike my other kids. Not that they aren't beautiful too, just different.

Happy 14th month my baby. Your growing up so fast.
Unfortunately I don't have a picture of it yet, card seems to have gone bad on the camera, time for a new one I guess.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Hip Hip Hurray! For my VP of DBA

As of July 1st my dearest husband was promoted. His official title is Vice President of Database Administration and Hardware. He has been with his current company 5 years in December. It is a huge company, probobly the biggest he has worked for since he started working. He took a pay cut to go there but to be honest in these last 5 years his salary has almost doubled. He is amazingly good at what he does. And although he is a scientist at heart he is striving to make it in a management world. Considering his humble beginnings he has done extraordinarily well. We have been so blessed and are so thankful for his abilities.

Congratulations! I am so very proud of you!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

My Cute Cousin Amy Marie

I spent the afternoon with my cute cousin Amy Marie, she was in town this week for the Mary Kay Conference. Who knew you could really make a living selling Mary Kay, well she does. She has a degree in music education but has quit teaching (for several reasons) and has been selling Mary Kay full time the past year. It is amazing, she has such drive.

Anyhow, I picked her up and we had lunch at the Macaroni Grill. We drove up to the temple and looked around a bit and then went to Moon's I got Lily a coloring book (in hopes that she will cease and desist coloring my walls) and Alex a copy of Scripture Scouts. We chatted some more as we made our way back to Northpark Mall. Once there we cruised around for a bit looking for a bathroom.

As I was walking out of the bathroom I noticed how dark it was outside.

To be honest I was a little worried about making it to the airport. I have never been to Love Field and wasn't sure now to get there. I ran out to the car,even with an umbrella, ella, ella, eeehh,eeehh,(sorry couldn't resist) I was totally soaked. By the time the kids were in I was swimming. I am glad we decided to leave because even though Love Field was very close it took us forever to get there because traffic was standing still. I dropped her off at 6:30 and just made it home.

It was great to renew our relationship, I hope we are able to keep in touch, I didn't realize how much I missed her.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

When your mom gets run down by a buffer...

My mom actually did get run down by a buffer on Friday, you know the kind they use to buff the floor in the grocery store. They thought she broke her leg, instead she is just really banged up.

I had a really negative post regarding this subject and I decided to take it down. Truthfully there is nothing I can do from here but talk to her and offer support. Plus I realized that lately I have just been an a negativity binge. Believe it or not, I am usually not the pessimist. I realize now that I am using this forum to vent my emotions and frankly it makes me look bad.

So instead I am going to use this as a parable of sorts. Sometimes it is easy to get run down by an emotional "buffer". Being negative truly sucks the creative juices out of a person. I have decided not to do this anymore. Instead I am going to know that from where I am right now all I can offer my family (my siblings/mom) is prayers and a shoulder. But I can no longer allow them to emotionally blackmail me because I am not there. I have made my choice and I love where I am both physically and mentally. And lets be honest, all the baggage is keeping me from getting there emotionally.

I don't think it means I love them less. It just means I love them from a distance.

A message from your wife

Dear Husband,

Okay, I know, it's the middle of the night.

I can't sleep.

You are gone and I can't sleep.

Ugh, I tell you it's never been this bad.

It's not like we haven't been away from each other before. There have been times when I have been at my mother's for as long as 6 weeks. And I always go for more than a week and you very seldom comes with me (you don't like to go hang out in the po-dunk town, gee I wonder why!).

I know you have to go, a couple of times a year, out of town on business. Not often, but enough to make me miss you terribly. But this is different. This is bad.

The only difference I can figure is that you usually doesn't go during the summer. I am a terrible mom when it comes to summer. You know this, this is not news to you. All routine and schedules go out the window, terrible for our ASD kid. Apparently terrible for this slightly crazy mom.

I think I need the bump in my day/mood that comes when you get home. You know the one, the kids running and jumping on you right when you get in the door and then I get a big hug after you've cuddled the cute kids (cause it is cute that even Ed, who will probably be walking by the time you get home, speed crawls and screeches when Daddy walks through the door).

And then on Saturday, we plan our day around lawn mowing and hair cuts. But instead tomorrow you are getting up at 4 am to drive to San Diego so you can spend the day with your brothers at Comicon, yep you got it, a giant nerdfest of comic book lovers (I know you're not into comics so much as into hanging out with the bros). I rather you hang out with me, we wouldn't even have to go anywhere, I promise I won't complain.

Only one and a half more nights and one more day.

Please come home!

Your Loving, slightly neurotic wife...

Friday, July 27, 2007

This dress or not this dress that is the question

So I had a few errands to run today. Mostly going over to Dillards to return some shirts I bought CW last week for his trip. I bought 4, 2 I knew he would like and 2 I liked. Of course I returned the 2 I liked, why can't the man just bend to my will???? Oh well. I am in the mall (which I go to only to buy clothes for CW) and I decide to got to Nordstrom's. I never go there because frankly they are just too pricey for me, I am happy going to the Rack. But I have been searching for a dress for my bil's upcoming wedding and just haven't had any luck finding something I really wanted. Well of course I found a great dress, with sleeves (which is next to impossible) but out of my price range. I decide to buy it anyway and guess what! It's on sale! Yipee!

So what do you think? Obviously this is not me....hehe Is this too casual for a wedding? I am not use to attending real weddings, as a matter of fact I think I have only been to 2 that weren't traditional "mormon" weddings and one was my sister. So I don't really know what to wear. I really don't want to buy something I can't turn around and also wear to church (which I did for my sister and felt like it was a waste of money). So it was this (their colors are kelly green and brown, so is this too matchy/matchy) or black and white or red. Or should I keep looking.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Pioneer Day

I remember as a child that the 3 stakes in our area always got together and had a huge Pioneer Day celebration. It was bigger by far than the 4th of July, as a matter of fact the only time there was a bigger "celebration" was during the county fair and only because for that one weekend there was a carnival in town. Anyway Pioneer Day was always accompanied by a large parade, lots of food, a big dance and fireworks. For weeks before we would talk about pioneers in primary. One year we even did thing they would do, my main memory of the primary activity was washing clothes on a wash board. I don't know why but that has always stuck with me. We as a family always had an interesting array of "pioneer" dresses, mostly long dresses resurrected from the early 70's, I was always jealous of the girls who had bonnets because my sisters and I never did. Of course dressing up was a prerequisite to participating in Pioneer Day, even when it was 115 degrees outside.

So as I was thinking about Pioneer Day today, I pulled from my bookshelves the Brown family history. These are the words written by my gggg grandfather Benjamin Brown upon reaching the Salt Lake Valley in September of 1847 "...we found the Pioneers and others of the Saints that had gone into the Valley, had been hard at work sowing all the winter, for every wagon had taken about two bushels of grain to raise wheat and the first inhabitants had raised a considerable quantity of vegetable also." He goes on to comment that 2 weeks after their arrival a large feast was held in celebration and everyone was invited. Unfortunately it left them in short supply of vegetables until the following summer. The tanacity of these people always amazes me. I am so fortunate to have such ancesters who bore such extreme hardships in order to provide the gospel for their posterity. What wonderful testimonies they leave of Joseph Smith and of the Book of Mormon. I am truly bless with such wonderful examples.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Sizzlin Summer Swap

So I got my stuff from the swap a few days ago (like last Thrusday) can I say, Rebecca is so good. Me, I procrastinated and did not send her stuff till today so...I didn't really feel good opening the box until I had hers sent out. But it's off in the mail so now I thought I would share my booty! Yipee :) always fun to get! I tried to put it in order of S-U-M-M-E-R

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Mommy Essential
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Recycle or Really cool
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Thanks Rebecca!!! This is so great :)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

We Welcome you to Primary...Or not.

Can I just say, sometimes the frustration is overwhelming.

We have lived in this ward going on 2 years in October. If you don't already know our oldest son Alex has Asperger's Syndrome, this is a form of high functioning autism. Needless to say he can be a handful. He is however a truly loving, funny, happy boy. When we first came we sat down with the bishop and explained our situation. We need help. If one of us needs to be with him call us to teach his primary class. No no, don't worry we will have an extra body in the class someone just for him. However as I just found out today, with the change of regimes, comes problems. I realize that most if not all of this is my fault. I CHOSE to be blissfully unaware of any problem, I didn't not check up or check in, I figured if he started to be a problem they would warn me. Today was not a warning it was a bombshell.

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My Big Boy Alex

So for the 2nd week in a row I was called into primary. Last week I didn't know what the problem was, but CW had the baby and so I figured I could sit with him. I missed the closing song in RS (I am the chorister) but no big deal what is one week. Today was different. CW is out of town, so I am there on my own. I have Ed with me in RS, he is terribly tired and of course being 13 months old he cannot go to the nursery yet. So I lead the opening hymn and then take Ed out to the mother's room to rock him to sleep, he goes down, this lasted about 5 seconds as someone from the primary presidency comes in and says they need me to sit with Alex. He is out wandering the halls and doesn't want to go back in. He tells me he is bored and cannot sit inside anymore. He needs something to do. I *force* him to go back inside and sit. They are having sharing time and the kids are going up front to make butter (hey it's pioneer season right). He goes up and hangs out up in the front as classes rotate in and out having their turn to make butter. OK he's not bored anymore. I sit till the end, he is giving the scripture anyway, so he was excited to have me come in and hear him. He runs to the back and tells me how happy he is (all during the next boy's talk). I can see he is clearly disruptive. So why wasn't I told before that is was this out of control?

I talk to the primary president and ask if this was going to keep happening, she says she needs me in there every week. I tell her I have a calling, I know it's not a big calling but it's my calling and it happens to be only the last hour. She asks what *I* want her to do, she is the primary president and she or her counselors cannot always be taking care of him, she has to do her calling to. I told her about the arrangements we made with the bishop. She let me know that that no longer exists and further more she never knew anything about it. I am irritated and frustrated and taking it out on her. I feel badly now but in the heat of the moment I let it all out. She asks her counselor who was in the previous primary presidency if this was the case, the counselor says that last year there were 2 men in the class so there was always an extra hand but this year it is a husband/wife team and while the husband is the teacher, the wife has never been called to any primary position and is only in the class because of the new rules, so technically she isn't even in primary the 2nd hour plus when she can be there she has a young child (he is nursery age but doesn't like nursery)so she can't be the one "taking care" of him either. I tell her ok I will take it up with the bishop. I walk down the hall to find him and explain the problem. He is impatient with me, I know he can't help it, he's a busy man, it's Sunday. He tells me he will look into it.

So on the way home. I am pondering all of this. Asking myself what can I do about this. The only real viable solution is that one of us (and by one of us I mean me as CW has never really been able to teach a primary class, he gets just as bored as Alex, plus he doesn't sing, so Sharing time is no fun) teach his class. I am sorry but I won't be an unofficial babysitter, even to my own child. Give me a calling, make it official, give me the rights and responsibilities of a teacher and I am there. Maybe I am being unreasonable. I am his mother after all, but what is the purpose of primary if your child is different? Is there no room in Christ's teachings for my boy? Is the only place for him next to me? And what happens in 2 years when primary is over for him? He has been baptised and has the responsibility of that now. We can't just decide to stop coming although today I want to. I am completely at a loss.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Harry Potter ... The book and UPDATE

So we are going tonight down to Southlake to pick up the new book. I went this afternoon and got a ticket, we are in the 1st group of people who didn't reserve it. I should have I know but well...So we are buy 2 copies, not that CW really deserves one because generally he only reads the first few chapters and then skips to the end, BUT being as he is on a plane tomorrow morning for 3 hours he figures it gives him something to do.

So I finished the book Sunday night about 6pm. And can I just say. Halle-freakin-lujah. It was so excellent. I don't know how she did it, but she manage to close all the holes that she's created the last 2 books. I felt deliriously happy at the end. And wasn't even really sad that it's over. What a sigh of relief. aaaaahhhhhh.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Update on the SEAT SEARCH

So I just know you all want to know. Did I find it?

Yeah, it was brown, not buying a brown suede seat for my gray van.

I did try it out though and they happened to have a handy dandy back seat right there in the store just so you could try and strap it in. Fairly easy, howevever in trying it out I discovered that it will have to be Lily's seat and Ed would get her old but almost new one. For one thing the Apex 65 is forward facing only and I don't think at 13 months I am ready to turn him around yet. So I will turn Lily's seat around (because it can be either forward or rear facing) and let Lily have the NEW new seat, it is a lot bigger in acutal size especially compared to the Raidan which is known for it's "slim design".

One foreseeable advantage is that seems to be significatly lighter and probobly a bit easier to carry around the airport or the likes.

I will order one online. I am going to try for the light blue and black design if I can find it under $130, but will settle for the blue on blue.

So I know you are all wondering why I am so crazy about all this...well I am not the best driver, mind you I haven't been in an accident in 10 years and that was just a slight fender bender (my cute little toyota truck met with the cast iron bumper of a big old 'burban) ok so I digress, but for me safer is much better than sorrier.

The Quest: In search of an Apex 65

I must must must buy a carseat for the baby.

He is totally outgrown the bucket and I have been putting off getting a new one waiting for the Sunshine kids Radian 65 to go down in price (I got Lily's for 129 incl shipping on Amazon), it's not going to happen.

I am not will to pay $200 for the Radian and I am really not willing to pay $250+ for the Britax (I would love to but can't).

I have researched the heck out of this thing and finally found a Cosco/Saftey 1st seat called the Apex 65 which has the latch and tethers to 48 pounds and harness to 65. I want to see it though before I buy.

I called BRU and they don't have any in Hurst but they have them at Hulen, so we go.

Hopefully I love it because it have the features of the Radian/Britax at a much lower cost ($119).

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I am marinating

I haven't left the house in 2 days.

I am FORCING myself to go to the park for the kids sake. They need to leave the house. I have read 2 book since Saturday and have started a 3rd, not a good sign.

I want to go to the library but don't want to drag all 3 kids. My children and the library are like oil and water. None of them has any volume control at all. If I let Alex go off and look for his own stuff, I can hear him...everywhere. Lily becomes an expert escape artist. No one is a stranger for her, especially not the scary man with the beard (are you my grandpa has a grandpa plays the you play the drums...can I go home with you...will you be my grandpa...I miss my grandpa...his beard is white) I don't know who was more terrified, me or the poor homeless man she was harassing.

Anyway, the summer and I have a love/hate relationship, I can't believe there are still 6 weeks left. I need a diet coke. :)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Harry Potter.... The movie

So I went last night and saw the movie. It is not something I usually do, going it alone. Usually I wait for CW and I to have some time, it almost never happens though and I was anxious to see this one. Man he is so grown up. The angst was palpable, being a teenager ugh I remember feeling like that. I loved the movie, the fight between good and evil. It was really dark though and to be honest I felt down afterwards. It was very very good though. I can't wait till next week to read the book....

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Ding Dong...Wedding bells are ringing.

So my brother in law, the baby, is getting married next month...

We of course will be attending with bells on :) to help celebrate the wedding of the happy couple. We are happy to go. So what's the problem you ask. Weeeelllllll, here it is in a nutshell. My husband loves to plan, it's a great quality, just not on vacation. Now I know some people like to have their itinerary all planned out for a trip. This my dears is not my idea of fun. My husband however is "afraid" to be bored. He is not into "the sit around and catch up" thing. Me, if they had a competition for yakking, well I'd take the cake. In other words there is nothing I enjoy more. So I guess I am just saying.... I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, plan that is. Now you see why things go a little cattywampas when I am in charge. Planning must be done. Oh ugh.

Monday, July 9, 2007

My 4 Favs.

Four jobs I've held:
US Forest Service, worked up on Mt. Graham building and clearing trails. Loved it.

Novell, was an operator.

Countrywide Home Loans, Foreclosure Specialist, I work for 2 years between Alex and Lily. It was a love/hate relationship and I was happy to leave when Alex was diagnosed with Asperger's

Special Ed Aid, I sat with Alex every day for 2 months (in school) until they were able to hire a full time aid to be with him. Wouldn't have been too bad except I started when I was 8 months pregnant. Those little kid chairs are killer when you are lugging around 8lbs of baby.

Four Movies I can watch over and over again:
Pride and Prejudice
Romeo & Juliet the Leonardo version
Some Kind of Wonderful
Big Fish

Four Places I have Lived:
Thatcher Arizona
Tempe Arizona
Salt Lake City Utah
Simi Valley California

Four T.V. Shows I Watch:
Dead Zone (I just love that the main actor is Anthony Michael Hall from 16 candles)
Ugly Betty

Four Places I've been on Vacation:

Santa Barbara (we stayed at a really lovely inn their)
Seattle (went to see CW's dad but did a lot of fun stuff)
Grand Canyon/Bryce (I have been several times but in 2004 we went to the North Rim, which I have to say is way better than the south)
Las Vegas (I took CW on a little get away and we actually went dancing, can you imagine haha)

Four Fav. Foods:
Mac and Cheese (the good baked kind not the box)Dalt's Grill in Burbank
Steak Del Frisco's
Sushi Taste of Asia
Anything made by my mom (Tamales are my fav)

Four websites I visit:
Executive Homemaker
Good Reads
Baby Center

Four People I'm Tagging: now you guys copy it and tag four more people

Friday, July 6, 2007

Some thoughts on love

I have struggled with words for the last few days. Words to write here. Words to tell my mom. Words to comfort my friend. I am at a loss. I am a girl divided. I have finally come to a crossroads. To blog or not to blog. I have decided to blog and hope for forgiveness if this is inappropriate.

I went to a beautiful funeral today. The building was full. Of people and flowers. It was lovely to hear the tributes given. My beautiful friend, spoke so eloquently of her mother. I was moved as she spoke of her mother having faith and hope and charity. I was amazed. The music was lovely. I especially enjoyed the special number, The Trumpets Shall Sound, which is from the Messiah. My dad actually sang this, he was a wonderful singer, who loved the Messiah. Anyway after the funeral, family and friends were invited to gather at my friend's parent's home. It is a beautiful home in the very heart of Fort Worth. It was full of people who loved this woman dearly. I was there because I love my friend and I wanted her to know.

I thought about love all day. My mom and I have had an on going argument, do we as humans actually have an endless capacity to love? I say yes, she says no. Can you love a stranger? I say yes, she says no. Can you love innumerable children the same? We both say no. Me because I don't think you can love any child the same, I think we love our children for different reasons, not less just different. She sees her love as finite limited to the six children she has (although now that I think about it she loves her grandchildren, I think she just thinks there should be a limit). We disagree on so many things and it makes me wonder what my own mother, the one who gave birth to me, would believe. Thus the reason I am divided. I love two mothers equally but differently. In some ways I know she feels this is a betrayal. I just feel God has blessed me with endless capacity to love, I think he blesses us all with this gift. She asked me today how I can love this friend though I barely know her. I don't know the answer, it just is.

So today I say to my friends, I love you, with no reasons really except for that you have touched my heart and taken me in when I most needed friends. I have always loved the poem that goes like this... Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Where is my magic wand when I need it?

Now seriously. I just hate cleaning. Now I know it has to be done. I am just not good doing it on my own. I grew up in a family where we all helped and I guess that made it seem like there was less to do. I know now that my mom did all the hard icky parts and we did the easy stuff because that is how it is now.

Sigh...Yesterday afternoon Lily decided to flood the bathroom, hall, laundry room and part of the dining room. Luckily this was not an overflowing toilet (YUCK) she got some ink on the sink, which I have been after her about not coloring on anything but paper, so getting ink on the sink meant that she was trying to clean it off rather than have me see it and get after her. She plugged the sink (which has no overflow holes) and proceeded to flood the affor mentioned rooms. Which led to me having to suck the water out of the carpet, which btw we figured out later to be about 20 gallons of water. Lucky me.

Being as I had the carpet cleaner out and ready after the kids were in bed I shampooed the carpet in the downstairs family room, now the thing isn't that hard to run but it takes time to do it. I have to say it is quite a handy appliance especially in a tight spot. I also cleaned the family room couch and chair this afternoon so at least things will be almost decent for when Ben gets here.

I really need to wipe down the inside of the fridge while Ed is sleeping as he would love to live in the fridge and always makes a beeline when ever the door is open. I told CW that I would clear out the office and take a bunch of unneeded stuff up to the storage for him, but being in here just leads to computer temptation. So here I am, wondering where my wand is, so I can get all these things done before his brother gets here but still have time to do stuff like read my friends blogs, shop on etsy, and send emails to my sister. Ugh... OK I should get back to it. It doesn't mean I have to like it though.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Just some blathering...

Ok, so Rochelle asked if we knew our state song, to be honest though, I now know the Texas State Song far better than I remember the Arizona. I do remember the chorus though.. Sing the song that's in your hearts, sing of the great southwest, thank God, for Arizona in splendid sunshine dressed. For thy beauty and thy grandeur, for thy regal robes so sheen, we hail thee Arizona our goddess and our queen...or something like that. I have to say I love the Texas state song and in coming to love this state I feel especially moved by the chorus...God Bless you Texas and keep you brave and strong, that you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long...I always get teary eyed with songs like that, even the national anthem does it to me...I just feel so blessed to have so much freedom.

Anyway enough babbling. CW and I went to the movies last night. I think the last movie we saw in the theater together and alone was the last Harry Potter movie 18 months ago. We went to the Movie Tavern and ate and watched at the same time. What a great idea, for us at least, usually we end up having dinner and then it's just too late for a movie. It was nice just to be out by ourselves for a couple of hours and the movie was decent (Fantastic 4 and the Silver Surfer). So the Movie Tavern is cool, the food decent. I give it a 4 outta 5 stars for a quick night out.

Personal DNA

This test was fun, I was surprised though home different from my friends I was...I guess that's a good thing.

Friday, June 29, 2007

I heart youtube

So much to see...


Do I need to say more?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I wanna go home!

It was a crazy day today. Alex had school this morning and was gone till noon. As soon as he walked in the door we were out the door again to
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It took me less than an hour to get there and I didn't even take the toll road. We got in and it turns out that Alex is an inch to tall to go into small land. They wouldn't make an exception. I tried to be understanding and left Lily to play by her self. They gave him a scavenger hunt to do as we walked through the store. So we did that together as we looked for our Klippan couch cover.
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We got down to the self serve part and started throwing stuff in the cart. Ed pooped and of course I had no diapers so I was trying to hurry and get out of that section because I know they have diapers in the upstairs family bathroom. I am running and I finally find the right couch cover and my pager goes off to pick up Lily. Of course I am at the register and she is on the right around the corner but the lines are huge so I grab stinky Ed and leave the cart to go and get her. I decide hey I am already off course so may as well go change the little stinker. We make it through that but can't find a way back to the cart except to got through the self serve part again, where for some unknown reason they have blocked off all the shortcuts, how dare they. So of course I pick up more stuff in my newly acquired cart (I guess eliminating the shortcuts makes people buy more.)

I make it up to the register and everything gets rung up. I pull out my wallet and what NO WALLET, I keep repeating to my self, where's my wallet, my wallet is gone, no wallet. I am sure the cashier thinks I am talking to him so he clears his throat. I ask if he can take a check without ID, he says no. I ask if he can hold my stuff so I can go check in the car. OK. Out to the car we go, the kids chanting "mommy why are we leaving the couch cover?" and "why did we come here?" "shush kids" I tell them in my newly adopted quite voice, I haven't yelled yet today but am getting close. FRUSTRATION is mounting. There is my wallet on the console in the car. How did that happen? Back into the store but can't get back to the register. AAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHHH, finally find an isle that only has one line so we aren't stepping on people going in the other direction. Back to the register to check out after ringing everything up again, the clerk looks at me and says "WALLET", "YEP, WALLET" I answer back.

We go to the snack bar on the way out for Alex's prize for completing the scavenger hunt. I get Lily a frozen yogurt and Ed a hot dog bun, every child is happy. We start our drive home, as we are leaving the parking lot and Lily says "I want to go home" which is actually code for "I have to pee". I tell her we are going home now does she want to stop and pee, no of course not. We get through Lewisville and Lily says "I want to go potty at home", of course traffic is stopped, (sound familiar Rochelle?)I tell her to bounce, so she bounces until I miss the exit for the 114 and am on Southlake BLVD. I ask if she wants to stop and a potty here, she says no, we stop anyway, she is screaming bloody murder that she wants to "go potty at home". I put her back in the car. I drive. She is crying again, saying she wants to pee on the ground. I pull over in the next parking lot, it's a dentist or something. It also pouring rain, I get her out pull her pants down and pick her legs up showing all she's got to everyone driving down Southlake BLVD. She pees, "All better mommy she says" I am soaked, I hope it's not pee, smells ok. We get home and change...What a day.

Here I am, alone again tonight, CW working late for the 2nd night in a row and likely to be the rest of the week as he gets ready for his launch on Monday. I LOVE the man, but I am spoiled, he hardly ever works late, I am used to him being home by 6:30 or 7pm. It's hard when he isn't here. I think the rain is affecting my mood. I can't stand too many days inside....not supposed to let up until next week.

Again What A Day.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Can I say I have been struggling? Are we as mothers allowed to struggle? Sometimes I wonder. I think HF suspected I was having issues because Sunday the lesson, called The Tongue of Angels by Elder Holland, was for me. Monday night I attempted to give it as our family home evening lesson to a gaggle of screaming kids. Needless to say I totally let my temper get the best of me and yelled loud enough that the neighbors heard. I was totally irrational and told CW I needed to leave the house. I went for a drive, just down the street as I was wearing neither glasses nor shoes and sat and read a book I had in the van for an hour. When I got home the house was quite and the kids were in bed. CW asked if I was mad at him, he was wondering because I had also yelled at *him* Monday morning because *he* had no clean socks and he was upset at me for slacking on the laundry. I snarked that I wasn't his mother or his maid and he could do his own laundry. I know it's my job to do the laundry after all he works his butt off all day and I am here. I have no excuses because I know it's my job, I was just mad that I was the one who was to blame and he was pointing that out. Anyway back to my story, I told him I wasn't mad at him and that my mother/maid comment was uncalled for as I am the one supposed to be doing the laundry. I also told him I wasn't mad at the kids because let's face it, they are children, it's *their* job to be loud and obnoxious and my job to teach them how to be less loud and less obnoxious (let me know if you out there have suggestions). I was in reality mad at myself for getting so out of control that if forced me to leave our home lest I do or say something hurtful to him or our children. I know I am totally embarrassed that it has come to this.

So this afternoon. I talked with Alex and Lily about how I needed their help to be a better mommy. I told them that I needed them to help me yell less and what would help me is if they yelled less. We agreed that we would have a no yelling policy in our home. We talked about things to do to bring the spirit to your home and that the spirit has been missing because there was so much yelling. We agreed that there would be time out for anyone who yelled 10 minutes on the couch in the computer room for the kids and 10 minutes cleaning up for me (because there is always cleaning to do). We also agreed that there would be a reward for any day we could go completely without yelling. So I called CW up and explained what the children and I had discussed and asked if he would give me a blessing to help me with this problem, he agreed that it was a good idea but has to work late most of this week so we decided Sunday after church would be the best time for that. now you know my ugly secret, please Heavenly Father help me is all I ask.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Weekend recovery

I know I should clean as I go but it seems an utter impossibility on the weekend. So we always end up on Monday spending most of our day "recovering" our home from the weekend. I must say this one was particularly bad. CW and I spend most of the day out in the front yard trying to rescue it from the jungle it was becoming, I mowed, he edged, I trimmed, he weed wacked and on and on it seemed to go. We didn't even make it to the back yard (I get to mow out there today too.) But the front looks half way presentable.

After the rest of the house is sufficently "recovered" I have to start with some deep cleaning including shampooing the carpets in the main family areas. I know it has to be done, but it is just not my favorite job. Oh well. Back to work we go. Now I just need some tunes.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Jumping on the wagon

After some prompting, I have decided to give this blogging thing a try. I have to say that I really enjoy hopping around my friends blogs, it seems they always have something interesting or entertaining going on. I have avoided it because well my life is just not that interesting but I am giving it a try. Here goes...