Thursday, September 27, 2007

Today was a good day.

I have been struggling a bit to get back to real life since my unexpected trip to Arizona. My grandmother past away 2 weeks ago today. To be honest I have been sad but in a strange way. I have learned a lot of stuff that I didn't know these past few weeks. Things about my parents that I didn't expect and now don't know how to process.


Anyway as I say today was a good day. I felt like I have finally come back to my own skin. I went down the the school and had lunch with my Alex. He invited his friend to sit with us. His friends are pretty much always girls. I think that these young girls are drawn to him because they sense he needs taking care of. As we were eating three other girls came over and introduced themselves to us. It was cute.

After lunch we, meaning Lily, Ed and I, went to his special ed class to talk with his teacher about his birthday next week. Can I just say, she is beyond great. These past 2 years of elementary school I have worried so much about him. Getting information was like pulling teeth and I always felt like he was not improving and was really struggling socially. Well he's back. That great, funny, quirky, loving kid of mine is getting noticed for all of his positive attributes and those negative things that all those silly people at school seem to push to the forefront of every conversation we have, all those negative things are not important anymore. After meeting with her I went to my car and cried. I honestly felt like something was given back to me.

I realize part of this is my fault, that in someways I have given up and let go of good things I know are there, but sometimes a parent needs affirmation. Especially from the people who spend a big majority of the day with your child. When that was not there I started to loose faith in what I know my child is. Shame on me for doubting his wonderfulness.

But I am back.
I have on my brave face.
And feel better already....

5 comments:

Rochelleht said...

Oh, I'm so glad! I know exactly how hard that is to have a bad fit at school and how it affects everything. You can lose faith in your own child. It is so difficult! I am SOOOOO happy for you and that this year is better. What a blessing!!!!

irbuanosraL said...

Jenni I FOUND you! I haven't seen or talked to you in forever. I am sorry about your grandpa's death. I am so happy to hear Alex's teacher is great. I hope you know that being his teacher in Primary has been a very sweet experience. On a few occasions when I have actually really needed a hug, it has been Alex who has approached me and said hi, then put his arms around me. And he has said so many cute funny things. I have meant to write you or call you and tell you that so many times. Both Derek and I really love teaching him, he's a sweet and precious boy. He is also pretty dang funny. You are doing a great job Jenni, I admire you so much. HUGS

irbuanosraL said...

me again..

Can I add you? I found you off of Rebecca's blog, who knew there was a little blogging community right within our own ward?

Julianne said...

I'm sending you a big cyber hug! I'm so glad to hear that things are going so well! That's really wonderful. We are going through our own struggles with Brandon so I feel, somewhat, what you have been feeling. Hope to see you soon!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that you got some affirmations about Alex. How wonderful.