We Welcome you to Primary...Or not.

Can I just say, sometimes the frustration is overwhelming.

We have lived in this ward going on 2 years in October. If you don't already know our oldest son Alex has Asperger's Syndrome, this is a form of high functioning autism. Needless to say he can be a handful. He is however a truly loving, funny, happy boy. When we first came we sat down with the bishop and explained our situation. We need help. If one of us needs to be with him call us to teach his primary class. No no, don't worry we will have an extra body in the class someone just for him. However as I just found out today, with the change of regimes, comes problems. I realize that most if not all of this is my fault. I CHOSE to be blissfully unaware of any problem, I didn't not check up or check in, I figured if he started to be a problem they would warn me. Today was not a warning it was a bombshell.

My Big Boy Alex

So for the 2nd week in a row I was called into primary. Last week I didn't know what the problem was, but CW had the baby and so I figured I could sit with him. I missed the closing song in RS (I am the chorister) but no big deal what is one week. Today was different. CW is out of town, so I am there on my own. I have Ed with me in RS, he is terribly tired and of course being 13 months old he cannot go to the nursery yet. So I lead the opening hymn and then take Ed out to the mother's room to rock him to sleep, he goes down, this lasted about 5 seconds as someone from the primary presidency comes in and says they need me to sit with Alex. He is out wandering the halls and doesn't want to go back in. He tells me he is bored and cannot sit inside anymore. He needs something to do. I *force* him to go back inside and sit. They are having sharing time and the kids are going up front to make butter (hey it's pioneer season right). He goes up and hangs out up in the front as classes rotate in and out having their turn to make butter. OK he's not bored anymore. I sit till the end, he is giving the scripture anyway, so he was excited to have me come in and hear him. He runs to the back and tells me how happy he is (all during the next boy's talk). I can see he is clearly disruptive. So why wasn't I told before that is was this out of control?

I talk to the primary president and ask if this was going to keep happening, she says she needs me in there every week. I tell her I have a calling, I know it's not a big calling but it's my calling and it happens to be only the last hour. She asks what *I* want her to do, she is the primary president and she or her counselors cannot always be taking care of him, she has to do her calling to. I told her about the arrangements we made with the bishop. She let me know that that no longer exists and further more she never knew anything about it. I am irritated and frustrated and taking it out on her. I feel badly now but in the heat of the moment I let it all out. She asks her counselor who was in the previous primary presidency if this was the case, the counselor says that last year there were 2 men in the class so there was always an extra hand but this year it is a husband/wife team and while the husband is the teacher, the wife has never been called to any primary position and is only in the class because of the new rules, so technically she isn't even in primary the 2nd hour plus when she can be there she has a young child (he is nursery age but doesn't like nursery)so she can't be the one "taking care" of him either. I tell her ok I will take it up with the bishop. I walk down the hall to find him and explain the problem. He is impatient with me, I know he can't help it, he's a busy man, it's Sunday. He tells me he will look into it.

So on the way home. I am pondering all of this. Asking myself what can I do about this. The only real viable solution is that one of us (and by one of us I mean me as CW has never really been able to teach a primary class, he gets just as bored as Alex, plus he doesn't sing, so Sharing time is no fun) teach his class. I am sorry but I won't be an unofficial babysitter, even to my own child. Give me a calling, make it official, give me the rights and responsibilities of a teacher and I am there. Maybe I am being unreasonable. I am his mother after all, but what is the purpose of primary if your child is different? Is there no room in Christ's teachings for my boy? Is the only place for him next to me? And what happens in 2 years when primary is over for him? He has been baptised and has the responsibility of that now. We can't just decide to stop coming although today I want to. I am completely at a loss.